threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
