the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
