Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
