I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
