BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
