you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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