i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
