Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize