I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Drake has all the answers
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
