I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
