I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
