Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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