Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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