so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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