I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
