I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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