My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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