I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
