brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
