And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize