Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
