OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
