mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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