Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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