His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
