just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
