so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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