just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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