I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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