You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
