So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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