You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
