Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
