Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
