he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Randomize
