Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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