my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
