i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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