did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
