I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
