I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
