Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Everclear isn't food dammit
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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