Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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