erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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