ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
