You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
