You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
