WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
