Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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