Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
