smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
