so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
