ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
