Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
