We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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