I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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