he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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