i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
