My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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