Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize