Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize