We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
