You really coming over, don't trick.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
