my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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