i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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