last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
