I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
