Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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