Having a random hookup so left but love u
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
