I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
