pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
