fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
