Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
