so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I want a musical about memes.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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