i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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