Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
dude. I can hear the air.
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