I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
